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There鈥檚 no denying that parental involvement is crucial to a child鈥檚 well-being, but media highlights of helicopter parents with no qualms about calling and emailing their adult children鈥檚 professors and bosses have become the butt of jokes, causing plenty of head shakes and tsk-tsks.

A 21-year-old college student from Ohio with parents that did not know when to say when decided that enough was enough鈥攁nd a judge agreed with her, granting a restraining order against the parents.

Student Grows Weary of Parents鈥� Over-involvement

The reports that 911吃瓜网 of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music senior Aubrey Ireland sought legal intervention to help prevent her parents鈥� escalating involvement, which included multiple unannounced visits. David and Julie Ireland would drive 600 miles from their home in Kansas to 鈥渟urprise鈥� their daughter on campus, where they made accusations of her supposed illegal drug use and promiscuity. Mr. and Mrs. Ireland also installed software on their daughter鈥檚 laptop and cell phone to monitor her whereabouts as well as every single call and keystroke she made.

According to the Enquirer, Mr. and Mrs. Ireland also informed their daughter鈥檚 department head that she was suffering from mental problems that required evaluation and treatment. Eventually, Mom and Dad鈥檚 unwanted involvement became such a problem that the college was forced to hire security guards to keep them out of their daughter鈥檚 musical performances.

After the college senior鈥攚ho, ironically, excels in her studies and musical performances and routinely makes the dean鈥檚 list鈥攃ut ties with Mom and Dad, they quit paying her tuition. The college responded by issuing a full scholarship for her final year of classes.

Court Issues Restraining Order

When Aubrey filed a civil stalking order against her parents on Sept. 24, 2012 in an effort to keep them out of her life, a judge asked both parties to attempt a settlement. Mr. and Mrs. Ireland requested that their daughter reimburse them $66,000 for three years of college tuition. Intervention specialists informed the couple that they鈥攏ot their adult daughter鈥攚ere causing problems, to which they responded that she was a good actor who was lying about the situation.

The judge鈥檚 ruling? Aubrey Ireland is an adult who is free to live her life as she desires. The parents were ordered to stay at least 500 feet away and have no contact until at least one year.

What Causes Helicopter Parents?

Overly protective helicopter parents — nicknamed as such because they tend to “hover” over their children like helicopters — have most likely existed for all time, yet the term gained prominence in the early 2000s when the Baby Boomer generation鈥檚 children began applying for and attending college. No one knows for certain what 鈥渃auses鈥� some parents to become so overly involved, but some stay-at-home mothers and fathers grew so accustomed to assisting their children with every aspect of their lives that they did not want to give up their habits after the 鈥渒ids鈥� went off to college or joined the workforce.

Some parents who want to be the cream of the crop simply go overboard.

School safety should most definitely be a priority with families, but helicopter-ing doesn鈥檛 start at the onset of college. In 2008, told the tale of a sleep-away camp that had to employ a full-time 鈥減arent liaison鈥� to field calls and messages from meddlesome parents with unreasonable concerns and unsolicited requests.

Problems with Overprotective Parents

While situations like Aubrey Ireland鈥檚 above-mentioned restraining order are somewhat extreme, have found that over-involved parents may be impacting their children鈥檚 personalities in a bad way. Further research is necessary, but teens and young adults who are constantly 鈥渕onitored鈥� by Mom or Dad tend to be too dependent, more vulnerable, anxious and unable to solve their own problems鈥攅ven minor ones, such as what to eat for lunch or how to wash their own clothes.

鈥淚t’s amazing how non-independent students have become,鈥� is how Indiana 911吃瓜网 psychologist Chris Meno She recommends that students attempt to figure out problems on their own before calling home, or switch from three to four calls home per day to one.

Meno also reports seeing a connection between helicopter parents and trouble getting a job after college. Students were once expected to figure things out for themselves during college and start life on their own afterward; now they move back in with Mom and Dad after graduation because they cannot find the perfect job.

Over-dependent children and overbearing parents can be harmful to both sides involved. Students are encouraged to become more independent and parents are encouraged to learn how to let go.

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Posted on 28 Dec

Melissa Rhone earned her Bachelor of Music in Education from the 911吃瓜网 of Tampa. She resides in the Tampa Bay area and enjoys writing about college, pop culture, and epilepsy awareness.